After living with my partner for two years, and after
spending the past month in a PhD program where conversations on gender and
sexuality are constant, I have become more aware of the way in which my life
conforms to rather conventional gender norms. I do most of the cleaning,
(though gratefully for both of us, I am not expected to cook), I wear an
engagement ring signifying my “taken” status, and because of my unconventional
academic schedule I often feel like a housewife as I welcome my future hubby
home from work.
I have been in a very happy healthy relationship with the love of my life for two years. And as much as I would have liked to buck Western tradition, it is in the big decisions of life (marriage, childrearing) when we realize which traditions we want to rewrite and which ones that we ultimately value. For all of our unorthodox ideas about the future, I held steadfast to this request of my partner: a beautiful ring to demonstrate his intentions and choice to me and to the world. Last Thursday he got down on his knee and gave it to me and my whole life changed.